It's the most wonderful time of the year

 Hey mom, why are you taking so many pictures?

 Our Christmas tree. Nathaniel knew how much I wanted a real christmas tree but I told him it didn't make any sense since he would be gone and his reponse was, "you guys are still there, you should get a real tree because it's what you want Sarah", and it was true, Thanks for reminding me honey that we can't put our lives on hold. I love you!

 Grandma and Grandpa came to visit us this year!

 Hannah loving Grandma time

 We made home made pajamas this year, Camden even helped. He had a blast pushing the peddle to the sewing machine!

Camden was a bit over whelmed christmas morning. But dont worry he soon realized how much fun it was!

 

Christmas this year started off by Nathaniel convincing me to get a real christmas tree. So I loaded the kiddos up and off we went. Camden loved running through all of the trees...I tried my best to keep an eye on him....and Hannah slept! and then we found the perfect tree. The workers strapped it to the top of our car and off we went. First test came: we arrived home and I realized that I had to take the tree off the car by myself. But I was bound and determined to do it and I did. Second test came when I realized I had to hold the tree up by myself and get it into the tree stand by myself and then screw it into the stand by myself. I am sure it was quite the sight. BUT I DID IT! We had a blast listening to christmas music and decorating the tree!

This year my mom and dad came down and visited us (what a relief it was not to have to fly with two little kiddos by myself). Camden had a blast with Grandma and Grandpa and I got a little extra sleep because Grandma was awesome and took care of hannah so I could sleep in (quite a feat especially since I am exclusively breast feeding) THANKS MOM! Christmas Eve my sister and her family stayed the night and we enjoyed a delicious dinner and a wonderful reading of the nativity story by my sister as my mom played silent night. it was beautiful. We then opened up our christmas pajamas and listened to Uncle Coleman read scrooge!

Then off to bed so Santa could come.

I had butterflies the next morning I was SO excited to watch Camden open his presents, I wanted to WAKE the kiddos up. haha. We sure were spoiled this year by family. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

The next day we enjoyed bowling and mom and dad treated us to dinner at cheddars and then we went up to BLORA and saw the christmas lights, even Hannah was fascinated by them!

The rest of the week we spent enjoying each others company. it was perfect.

I love this time of year. It is so magical and now that I am a mom I get to watch the joy and excitement of Christmas through my kids eyes!

Thanksgiving this year was great. Good friends, Good food, 80 degree weather, it. was. awesome.! I hosted Thanksgiving at my house this year and a grand total of 23 people came (that includes the adorable kiddos, which was about half that number). Everyone brought 1 or 2 food dishes that were delicious and the kids played outside because the weather was AWESOME! definently one thing I'm going to miss about Texas, the short winters and the LONG summers :) We sure are blessed! and I have a GRAND total of ZERO pictures. Sorry Nathaniel!

I'm proud to be an american.

I think I have started this blog post a hundred times, but everytime I write something it just doesn't sound right. How Do I write about this deployment? how do I explain the emotions?

Five months after Nathaniel came home from his last deployment he told me of the possibility of another deployment. I wasn't expecting another one for another couple of years. But as an army wife I took it in strides but I don't think I ever felt like he was going to deploy (some may call it denial :) as his deployment date came closer and closer it felt so surreal. Was he really leaving again? Then July came and wonderful Miss Hannah was born. She has brought so much joy into our lives. Then exactly ten days after she was born her daddy had to leave for a month of training to deploy. Boy we sure did miss him. I thought maybe he wouldn't have to go so when  he came and told me he had to leave in two days: I said "Ok, we knew it was a possibility" and I tried to be strong, I tried to smile, I am so proud of him but as I stared at him packing his bags I couldn't hold the tears in any longer. I cried. The emotion was so overwhelming as I held our sweet newborn. But the time came for my wonderful husband to leave to training and I was strong. I was strong because I had to be. I was stong because I wanted to be. and you know what we made it through that month. healing from child birth and taking care of a two year old and a colicky newborn was not easy and at times I cried as I held my crying baby and I prayed. I prayed for patience. I prayed to feel my Heavenly Fathers love.

After Nathaniel got home the next few weeks were filled full of wonderful memories. I remember thinking, "I wish this could last". But as we all know we can't stop time and all of a sudden deployment day was here. So we packed up Nathaniel's bags, strapped our kiddos into their car seats, and headed to post at two in the morning. As we drove, there wasn't much traffic and I felt like it was just the two of us. I held his hand, he held my hand and I just looked at him and thought, "this day can't be here already, it feels to surreal, is he really leaving"? Then we pulled onto post and I knew it was happening. First thing that happened: nathaniel had to get his weapon. As he walked back to us with his gun and his pistol strapped to his leg, it hit me again, "this is happening". So many emotions hit me at once. Proudness, sadness, happiness, and then I was scared. With his first deployment I knew he was going to be ok. I just felt it. This deployment I have not felt that. I. am. scared. I love this man more then words can explain and seeing him carry his weapons knowing that he may have to use them terrified me. I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. But instead, I smiled at him and said that he looked great and that I was proud of him.

Soon the time came for us to say our goodbye's. I almost feel like this moment is unexplainable. If you have been through a deployment, you understand this moment.  Our sweet little boy understood that his daddy was leaving and we both held him between us as he cried. I couldn't talk because there was a lump in my throat. I kissed Nathaniel. Then I kissed him again  and then I took our sweet boy and baby girl to the car and I just held Camden. Camden knew his daddy was gone and it broke his little two year old heart so I just held him as he sobbed into my shoulder.

And now we are more then two months into our second deployment. We miss Nathaniel everyday. But each day is wonderful as well. Camden is his silly goofy self and Miss Hannah is growing out of her colicky stage and I can see her wonderful personality coming through. She lets all of her excitement show and will squel and laugh all at the same time. it melts my heart.

And before we know it Nathaniel is going to be home, and as many military families have done before us, we will pack up and move onto our next adventure.

 

Ben and Buffy's wedding

 

In october nathaniel's brother married an amazing woman named Buffy. Camden absolutely adores his new aunt and we had a great time getting to know her! They were married in the D.C. temple and it was abosultly perfect. We sure were spoiled through out the week of the wedding. Buffy's family paid for us all to stay at the marriott for three days, it was a beautiful hotel room (or suite I should say, it was huge). They also bought Camden and Hannah numerous outfits to wear during the celebrations, spoiled us with a pajama pizza party one night, and BEST of all they made us feel like family!

We also Blessed Hannah while we were there. It was wonderful having family with us to share this moment with, even if Hannah did crying during the whole blessing!

 

These kiddos make me smile! While the men went to the priesthood session of conference, us girls got together and had a popcorn movie night! We sure are lucky to have amazing friends here in texas.

(left to right: Patton (who is three days younger then hannah), Dawson, Bennett, Camden, Whitney, and Harper....Hannah isn't in the picture because she was eating - also what she does best, she would eat all day long if I let her!)

PRE-deployment camping

 EWWW, down side of camping in Texas = Tarantula's!

 Daddy and Hannah hanging out. Hannah doing what she does best = SLEEP!

The boys helping Nathaniel start the fire!

 

We LOVE camping and really wanted to go before Nathaniel deployed again so when my sister asked us if we wanted to joing her and her family we said YES OF COURSE, so little miss hannah went on her first camping trip when she was 8 weeks old and she did a fabulous job (she slept 8 hours straight at night!) Camden loved hanging out with his cousins, we enjoyed playing in the river, and also just hanging out around the camp fire roasting marshmellows, yum!

(September 2012)